Friday, June 18, 2010

BBBC 2010 - Entry 5

Topic #5 - Blogger's choice! Write about anything that's on your mind!

I think the topic I want to discuss for number 5 is Blue Mars. Not so much Blue Mars specifically, but virtual worlds in general I suppose. I had heard of BM through a couple of bloggers awhile back and then again from a friend a few nights ago.  I had never made a character there so tonight I decided to try it out.  I thought it had potential though they have a loooong way to go before it's ready for the public imo.  But it got me thinking about how things work in the virtual world.  My first venture in was back in The Sims Online days and wow, I can't believe looking back now how much fun we had in such a simple world.  There was no real currency, no custom work, nothing like that. I made some amazing friends there and one who will be a best friend for life.  Then there was which just closed down recently.  We abandoned ship a long time ago but before it shut its doors, I logged in one last time to run around and check things out.  I was looking through my stuff I had acquired during my stay there and it made me sad to think once it closed, that was all just going to disappear.  Not that I had any use for it but still.  That brings me to my point.  While I was running around all noobiefied in Blue Mars, I was thinking about how disappointing it would be to have to start all over.  I mean, I don't know about you, but I have an inventory of almost 50k.  I have spent a big chunk of money in Second Life.  Not to mention the money I have paid every month for land.  Are we just going to keep hopping from one virtual world to the next, collecting vast amounts of pretend clothes and skins, and blowing money on stuff that will just be wiped when the next big thing comes along?  How long will you stick with it?  I like to say now that I wouldn't get so involved in another world if SL closed down and I had to start over, but would I be lying to myself?  I guess I can't really say for sure now, but it's something to think about.  Virtual worlds are still fairly new considering, and maybe we just haven't had time to think about the fact that these lives we're living are only temporary.  It makes you wonder why we take things so seriously in such a disposable world.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

BBBC 2010 - Entry 4

SL Bloggers - Is your avatar more or less your current biological age? Do you portray a younger avatar, or older? Why is this?

Not counting rp characters, I would say my av is roughly the same age as my rl self.  I may act a little crazier than I do in rl but as long as i'm not roleplaying, I'm pretty much exactly the same in sl as I am in rl.   When I do roleplay, I often play characters much younger than me simply because it gives me a chance to relive my youth and escape from the dull everyday existence I am living now.  

Speaking of being yourself in sl.. My friend Violet and I took a trip to Ahern last night as part of our journey out of hermitville.  Oh boy.. have you guys been there?  o.O  I really haven't frequented the place since my very first av was created in beta.. or when the grid goes down and everyone logs back in to a welcome area.. mine is usually Ahern.  But anyway, because I don't want to be sued for posting what someone said in my blog,  i'll give you short description.  The first thing we hear is a girl talking about how she's been poisoned three times with Strychnine by these people that are trying to kill her through fast food.  Then the guy backing her up says that "when he fantasizes about killing people, he would rather put it in their ac unit in their car so it would blow in their faces when they turned it on"  WTF?  Like we were totally cracking up at first and then the longer we were there, the creepier it got.  Are these people for real and how did they find their way into my virtual paradise!?  Before we left we got to see Gala Phoenix confront this chick who was wearing a modified skin of hers.  The girl was like .. "I bought this skin and my friend added the stuff in for me, it's not like i'm handing out copies to people! What, do you like want more money or what?"   *sigh* Poor Gala. lol  It must be so frustrating though watching stuff like that happen to your work.  

The guilty party is the chap wearing lady in the rear. .next to the runway guy I mean! bling tard erm I meant, very flashy guy.  I can see why she was pissed.. it wasn't even a good modification.  

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

BBBC 2010 - Entry 3

Ok, so I fell a little behind but i'm just going to double post today to make up for it.

SL Bloggers - How hard do you think it is to find a relationship in SL? If you have an SL relationship, have you met in the physical world? Would you meet them? Do you think it would change your SL relationship if you met?

RL Bloggers - Would you start a relationship with someone you met online? Would you have a problem telling people that's where you met? Do you think it's easier to meet someone online rather than at work or at a club?

Wow, I started this entry 45 minutes ago, wrote out the entire post, realized it was like a short novel, and deleted.  I've realized my story is just entirely too long for the purpose of this challenge so i'm going to recap and stick to the questions. 

I'm going to start with the RL section.  I met a guy online when I was 13, he was 18. He was starting college in California, I was staring Jr. High in Illinois. It never should have worked but it did. It was 1996 and there was still a huge stigma tied to online dating.  We never really "dated" but we became very close and shared everything. I only told a few friends about him and hid him from my parents. Looking back now that was totally stupid and dangerous but luckily it never turned into something they would make a lifetime movie about. Anyway, through the years we fell for each other and things got complicated.  We both went through rl relationships but never really stopped talking during any of them.  In 2006 I talked him into joining second life so that we would have somewhere to hang out and do stuff together. It was perfect.  We bought land, made our home.. got jobs at a club, he was a dj, I was a hostess. It was like we were living together only we had none of the rl pressures to deal with. Eventually he started to mention meeting up in rl. I was against it.. I felt like after all the time we had spent in sl that I would never live up to his image in rl. Even though he had seen pictures of me, I felt like it would still be nothing like he was expecting after he had spent so much time seeing my as my sl avatar which is of course what I WOULD look like if this was a perfect world.  We fought about it quite often but always ended up dropping it. I just wasn't ready for it.  I started to think he had finally given up until... the day he showed up at my work unannounced. I was an emotional disaster.. there are just no words to describe how it feels to look up into the face of someone you have known for so many years that you are just seeing for the first time.  Mind blowing is an understatement.  So before this gets too long again, i'm going to give you the condensed version.  That weekend we did end up hanging out.. but it was only because I had a LOT of alcohol.  I'm talking straight captain morgan right out of the bottle.  After that, I felt awkward around him.. and he said that he felt closer. Our sl was totally ruined because after meeting, it just wasn't enough for him.  Eventually I went on a vacation in Oregon for a week and he joined me there with my family, which was the first time they had heard about him.  A few months later, he moved here and we got an apartment together. Three months into that, it all fell apart and I moved out.  That was 2008 and we just recently started talking again this month.

So yes, I did start a relationship with someone I met online and I do admit, even to this day it still feels funny to say that we met in a chat room.  I think even though it's more common, people still want to hold on to that whole "people you meet on the internet are PSYCHO CRAZY LIARS" thing and it just makes it awkward.  I also think that is is much easier to make people think you're exactly who they want you to be online which is also why I think they have such disastrous outcomes in some cases. When you meet people in rl, it's harder to be someone you're not.  This was my problem. Being together with him in rl.. he just wasn't the person I thought I knew.  I admit that I had issues I probably should have dealt with before he moved here and i'm not saying it was totally his fault, but I do think he told me a lot of things he knew I wanted to hear and then had a hard time hiding his true self when we were together.  So I would have to say, most times, meeting in rl will totally change your sl in one way or another. Whether it be good or bad, it's going to seem inadequate at some point.  

Monday, June 14, 2010

BBBC 2010 - Entry 2

 SL Bloggers - Write about three positive things going on in your Second Life.

    Ok, I guess this topic comes at a good time.  I've recently signed up at (yea, I know) anyway, I signed up mostly to find new friends to hang out with since i'm usually sitting around bored and no one is online.  While i'm not going to out the people i've met.. I will say i'm happy I did it.  I never can figure out why I have such a hard time making new friends in sl.  I'm shy in rl, but not so much in sl anymore so it baffles me.  I try to talk to people, I make kind gestures.  I have sent out free things I make to people who I think might like them, but I never get any responses, not even a "I don't really like this, but thanks anyway" lol So I don't know.. I was starting to think for some reason people just didn't like me.. even though I had never even spoken to most of them.   So getting back on track, I think this site is kind of awesome in that you can connect with people who share your interests.  I've had some interesting experiences.. if that's what you want to call them.  I've had one that creeped me out, one that made me feel like a worthless piece of dog shit, one that is hopefully going to turn into a sweet friendship, and one that.. well, might be turning into something more.  Hopefully I will find out more tonight :)  Ok ok, but this would be positive thing number one.  I'm meeting new people, hopefully making friends.. and learning not to be such a recluse in a world where I can do anything I can imagine. 

   Number two branches off of number one.  My best friend and I have decided that we BOTH need to stop being such hermits, so in an effort to be more sociable and make SL fun again, we are going to start forcing ourselves to go out and find somewhere new every night.  I think our first venture may be orientation island.  I always hear about crazy stuff going on there so what better way to break ourselves in to the vast sea of people who inhabit sl.  Logging in to sit alone in a box 5000m in the sky is just not what sl was made for and I refuse to do that anymore.

   Number three.  Number three is uh..  hmm.  *scratches head*  OH, yes.. this.  Blogging.  I am crossing my fingers that this is just the right thing I needed to get me going again and take my blog back into the right direction.  I hope that maybe this also helps me with numbers one and two. Perhaps I have been looking for friends in the wrong places and this will introduce me to some like minded people. :)  

  So there it is, post number two.  I did it.. Yea!  I thought I would have failed by now. lol

BBBC 2010 - Entry 1

Well, I think I may have borked this already but i'm gonna pretend that I didn't so shh don't tell! So, the rules of the bbbc are basically to post at least once a day for the duration of the challenge. I haven't posted in over a year so I thought this would be a great time to get started again. I used to keep a live journal back in the day and it really helped me clear my mind when I was overwhelmed with things going on in my life. Which leads me into my first post.. the topic being: Why did you become a blogger? How has it enriched your life?

I actually started my blog because I wanted to show a different side of sl fashion, the basic pieces that are usually overlooked. Once I started it however, I realized that was going to get boring pretty fast. lol So I just started throwing random posts out there and eventually stopped posting altogether because it just didn't feel genuine. So, with this challenge as my kick start, I have decided to revert back to what I originally felt comfortable blogging about, my adventures, my experiences, my successes, my failures.. my second life. I have realized more and more that this should be for me before anyone else and i'm not so worried now if people don't like it or find it interesting. I know when i'm looking back at these entries a year from now, it will be to me and that's the important part.

So here we go, my adventure begins today. Wish me luck!